Many people I meet are so down and gloomy that I find myself avoiding them.
I am just a normal person that has seen a lot of life, both good and bad. Life experiences are what build the character of a person. Your parents also direct you in how to treat other people and how to deal with not meeting expectations. These are very important lessons to learn. It is difficult to be yourself 100% of the time. I find the first step in building that character is to learn to like yourself. Confident people like who they are. Confident people are easier to be around and their opinion is more valuable because they don’t just think of themselves. They look at the situation with no bias. You get their honest opinion. Once you learn to like yourself, then you start looking at life differently. You plan ahead, you enjoy what you plan on doing and live your life according to the plan.
I also acknowledge that people who are confident, accomplish more. They are not lucky. They are not born with a silver spoon. They don’t always win, but failure is a lesson from which to be learned. They get back up and analyse where they went wrong and proceed with a different goal or the same goal, but a new way to accomplish it.
I have had two husbands die, both of cancer. Neither one had life insurance. However, I lived and planned; and I have made it without any help. I don’t consider myself a victim. I don’t depend on the government. Has it been fun? No, I can’t say fun exactly, but life is not always fun. What I will say is, life has been an eye opener. After the 1st husband died, I thought people would rally around me and make concessions. That did not happen. Instead I got a warning to “Stay away from our husbands”. I did not know who was a husband and who was not, so I stayed away from everyone.
I was happy to be by myself.
At first, I was irate. People who would say such a thing to me did not know me at all. I thought, “What type of person would say such a thing to someone who just lost a soul mate”? That person can’t be happy if they are forever expecting their husband to misbehave. Besides, who would want a person that has no loyalty?
Widows and Widowers are not treated very well, except by other people who have lost a loved one. They have something in common. Then there is the aspect that you are now a single person. All the married couples who used to socialize with you and your husband or you and your wife; you now are no longer considered a part of their life. Odd man or woman out.
I remember shortly after losing my 2nd husband, I was at a wedding shower I was invited to.
One of the newly married women was complaining about her husband wanting to teach her to put a worm on a hook. One of his passions was entering fishing contests. She had no desire to learn. I thought how sad that she had no desire to enter into that part of his life. What if he died tomorrow suddenly, what would she do? How would she cope with life, when she is not willing to learn one little thing that would make him happy?
I, on the other hand, threw myself into learning. I learned to plan projects. I learned to use a table saw. I learned to repair things, by following how-to books.
Now we have UTube for learning to fix things. I used UTube to fix my dryer the other day. I felt like I was really on top of the world. How many other women would tackle fixing a dryer all by themselves?
That is what I mean by looking at the bright side. Now, not only do I know how to use a table saw, but I can also fix a dryer, build a raised planter, cut the brush out of the yard and help the neighbor with her downed tree.
Never wait for someone else to do what you can learn to do yourself. Grow and be a better character and life will be much better, I promise you.
